Courses & Community For Those Experiencing The Overwhelm Of RIFis, formally‘GD’
If you’ve found yourself searching for “gender disappointment”, “help, I’ve got gender disappointment”, or even “how do I fix my gender disappointment”, you’re not alone. Although the term we now use is RIFis (Rupture in Imagined Future - infant sex), have a read of our blog that explains why.
We have developed a structured course that has been designed for parents who want a supportive and compassionate space to better understand their RIFis, formally ‘gender disappointment’.
I know from my own experience, as well as many years of academic research that ‘gender disappointment’, now called RIFis, can impact every part of your life every single day.
So, our course has been specifically designed to help you make sense of what you are feeling, give you strategies for the daily challenges you will likely be facing and support from others who get it because they too are experiencing RIFis, or what we used to call ‘gender disappointment’.
Our Courses & Community
Anywhere, Anytime, Short Courses
Coming soon
Our anywhere, any time Short Courses will be being resaksed soon.
Here you can learn at your own pace with short, accessible courses designed to provide understanding, support, and practical insights; wherever you are, whenever you need them.
Small Group Course
This course is right for you if:
You’re experiencing RIFis, which was called ‘gender disappointment’, and don’t feel able to talk about it
You’re feel guilt, shame, all encompassing sadness, grief, anger or confusion about your feelings and experience
You value support from others who understand, that is compassionate, and research-informed
You don’t know what to do but you do want these feelings to go away
You want tools are strategies to help with your emotions and experience
You want to understand your experience
These feelings and experiences are often not shared, even when the parent is really struggling and wants help. That’s why we are here; to make space for these conversions and understanding, together with others who understand.
What Will We Cover?
Begin to make sense of RIFis, or what you may have called ‘gender disappointment’ and why it may be happening for you
Understand the role of hope, social expectation, and imagined futures
Explore emotions such as guilt, grief and resentment without judgement
Learn practical tools for emotional regulation and self-compassion
Feel supported and understood by others who are walking the same path as you
The small-group course provides a space where you will:
Course Structure
Weekly structured 90-minute group sessions
Live online
Each session includes:
Learning about RIFis, previously called ‘gender disappointment’
Guided reflection
Peer discussion and support
You can share as much or as little as feels right for you
Access to a private Circle space during the course for support, questions and reflection
Understanding RIFis
Course Overview
Explore your RIFis experience, which was called ‘gender disappointment’, in a safe, supportive space and connect with others who understand the depths and complexities of RIFis.
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Week 1: Making Sense of My RIFis
Learn about ‘gender disappointment’ which we now call RIFis; what is is, why it might happen, and begin to explore your own experience in a safe, supportive environment with others who are walking the same path as you.
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Week 4: Understanding The Impact of RIFis on Life and Relationships
This week we will start to explore how RIFis, formally called ‘gender disappointment’, can affect your daily life, relationships, and decision-making. You will gain insight into the ripple effect of these emotions and start noticing how they show up, helping you respond with awareness and care.
Week 2: My Hopes, Expectations, and Imagined Futures
Together we will explore the hopes and dreams you held for your child. We’ll look at what research tells us about how hope, love, and imagined futures shape your expectations and what happens when those expectations are disrupted, leading to often overwhelming and isolating experiences of ‘gender disappointment'.
Week 5: Exploring The Emotions of RIFis Without Judgment
Understand the emotions of RIFis, which was called ‘gender disappointment’, which you may be feeling. From guilt to grief, anger to resentment. Begin to develop practical strategies to cope with the intense emotions of RIFis.
Week 3: Exploring My Layers of Intensifying RIFis Distress
Begin to explore how your feelings of ‘gender disappointment’, now called RIFis, can build and layer in complex ways, affect your wellbeing, and shape your relationships. We will start to identify patterns and triggers in your unique experience, and begin to develop ways to respond to them.
Week 6: I Am Stronger Than I Knew
Discover ways to nurture self-compassion, challenge self-blame, and develop healthier narratives around your experience of RIFis.
What Parents Take Away From the Course
While everyone’s experience is different, after the course parents say they:
Better understand their experience of RIFis
Now have coping strategies they are using every day, for example in conversations with others or friends who are pregnant with the sex child they had so wished for
Greater understanding why they may be experiencing RIFis (knowledge is so important)
Feel increased emotional ‘control’
Have found strength in hearing other parents stories and experiences and being able to ask them questions and their thoughts
Feeling so grateful to have found others experiencing the same who they can share their experience with, in the knowledge of no judgment and only kind support
Our Community
For After the Course
Why our community comes after the course
The ongoing community is available after completing the RIFis course because completing the course first ensures that everyone in our community:
The ongoing community is available after completing the RIFis course because completing the course first ensures that everyone in our community.
Has had space and time to explore and begin to make sense of their own experience of RIFis, formally called ‘gender disappointment’
Shares a common language, compassion and understanding, creating connection without the need to explain or justify
Understands and values kindness and care which helps our community to be inclusive and supportive for all
Has developed tools for reflection, self-compassion, and emotional regulation that support both giving and receiving peer support
Enters the community feeling supported, and ready for connection with other parents who understand and want to support each other
Coming soon
What is The Community?
Our community is a space that I wished existed when I was in the depths of what was then called ‘GD’ but now RIFis. Its a space where you will find:
Regular group coaching sessions
Continued reflection as feelings evolve over time
Ongoing learning and resources
Additional courses
Connection with other parents who are experiencing RIFis too who want to give and receive support, just like you
