Are You Experiencing Complex and Overwhelming Feelings About the Sex of Your Baby? You Are Not Alone.

'Gender disappointment’, now known as RIFis is more common than many people realise, yet, it’s rarely spoken about openly. Often before even conceiving a child parents imagine the sorts of children they may have and the relationships they will have with them and this is often largely shaped by the baby's sex. So if a baby of you imagined and long hoped for sex does not arrive it can lead to complex, multidimensional and unexpected emotions that can include grief, sadness, confusion, guilt, anger, resentment or shame. If you’re feeling unsettled or distressed by these emotions, you are not alone. For some, RIFis, formally ‘gender disappointment’ after a scan can feel particularly intense. The scan was meant represent the moment you found out if your long hoped for child was on her or his way, but if you are experiencing ‘gender disappointment’ what may have happened is that it was the moment that your hoe was brutally taken away; your imaged future was no more and now a change of the future has been taken away from you. This can be deeply disorienting, especially when there’s an expectation that you should only feel gratitude and joy. This experience of ‘gender disappointment’, now known as RIFis can be so difficult. It’s also very common to experience ‘gender disappointment’ or RIFis guilt — questioning yourself, your values, or if you are a good parent. These feelings don’t mean there is something wrong with you. They reflect the depth of your hopes and love for your imaged child. Your experience of ‘GD’ shows how much your imagined child and parenting experience meant to you. Many people secretly search for ‘gender disappointment’ support or help with ‘gender disappointment’, now RIFis because they don’t feel able to talk about it. You may even find yourself thinking, “How do I fix my gender disappointment?” because you don't want to feel the way you do, but you don’t know how to stop the overwhelming and such powerful feelings - but that’s why you are here and you are not alone on this journey.