I’m so excited to share that my podcast episode with PANDAS Foundation has now been released. The episode is called “They say I’m disappointed but I’m not. What’s wrong with the term ‘Gender Disappointment?’” and it opens up a conversation that many parents experience, but very few feel able to speak about honestly. A quiet moment to listen to a sensitive conversation. Why this episode matters In the episode, I really enjoyed speaking with Sally about the feelings often labe

What is RIFis? RIFis stands for the Rupture of an Imagined Future centred around infant sex. RIFis, unhelpfully formally known as ‘gender disappointment’, refers to the complex emotional experience some parents may go through when their baby’s sex is not the one they had imagined or hoped for. Although often misunderstood or rarely spoken about, RIFis can involve a wide range of emotions including sadness, grief, guilt, shame, anger, confusion, and emotional numbness. These f

Hooray, it is slowly changing, but there is often still an assumption daughters will care more about their mums than sons. But …. all my dishwasher tells me this morning, is we should not assume this as fact. Feeling unwell, I went to bed exceptionally early last night; I abandoned all my jobs and went to lie down. When I came downstairs this morning, without even a nudge, my 14-year-old son has gone out of his way to empty and pack the dishwasher for me ✨ No one had as

If you’ve ever been expecting a child and secretly, or openly, hoped for a boy or a girl, you might recognise the complicated mix of emotions that can arise when your child isn’t the sex you imagined and often deeply hoped for. Some parents feel sadness, grief, or even despair. This is often called ‘gender disappointment’, but research shows that term doesn’t fully capture what research tells us is being experienced. Instead of being disappointment, these feelings can be inte

A reflective blog on my meeting with the PANDAS managemnet team exploring ‘gender disappointment’, perinatal mental health support, and how language shapes help-seeking. Earlier this week, I had the privilege of meeting with the wonderful management team at PANDAS Foundation, a leading UK charity dedicated to supporting every parent, carer, and family affected by perinatal mental illness. PANDAS have been offering hope, empathy and support for over a decade, providing free se

I’m thrilled to announce the upcoming release of my book, coming this summer, which presents the world’s first model and scientifically informed understanding of ‘gender disappointment’. It draws on my own lived experience, doctoral research, and extensive engagement with parents and healthcare professionals. What’s inside: The book explores the complex emotional and individual experience of ‘gender disappointment’, from hope, shame, and grief to navigating societal expectati